# DEEP

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

just sharing this and it is deep...

"skin deep in beautiful minds, skin fades in beautiful lies"

moga bermanfaat...

 

Disebalik tabir...

Bukan lara pencetus rasa,

Saat hati retak bergetar deria.

Bukan gembira pencetus tenang,

Bila hati kosong tanpa taman.

Bukan luka penyebab derita ,

Andai hati terus mengelak rasa.

Bukan pancaindera penyebab buta,

Andai hati enggan menerima nyata berita.

Bukan minda mencelaru fikiran,

Andai semua dicampur berseliratan.

Bukan masa enggan menunggu,

Andai diri sentiasa mengelak waktu.

*yosh, Cheese... gambatte  ne...

**writing again

Busy enough...?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

moga sentiasa dalam lindungan dan rahmat Allah.. juga dengan harapan hati-hati kita terus setia dengan Addeenul islam.. Biiznillah..

Lately, busy berganda-ganda sampai tahap nak pengsan tengah jalan..

[credit to the owner:refer the pic]

Just a hard reminder for myself about the dunya. Yet busy to kill the time with something cheezy as always....

"keep it up, dear cheesypasta...!"

*tetiba rasa cravings of all those cheesy things; pasta, lasagna, frittata etc etc...
**ahlan wasahlan ya Rajab. tak sabar menunggu Syaaban untuk 'menjemput' Ramadhan.. *usaha utk siapkan diri dalam apa jua keadaan. hope u get it, dear self...!
***Sanah helwah to my ummi... wish  for her 'cuteness' in all things she did, do and will do..

Doa..

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....alhamdulillah atas kurniaannya sehingga saat ini masih teguh berdiri dengan rahmatNYA.... Biiznillah untuk masa-masa akan datang...

ehem... Utamakan yang utama... Andai masih ada 'urusan' yang belum selesai, moga selesaikannya dulu... Semoga picisan kali ini mampu memberi sedikit manfaat dan saham untuk saya. Amin..

Tercetusnya entri kali ni, disebabkan ucapan doa oleh seseorang untuk seseorang, dan ianya membuatkan saya sedikit wonder tentang perkara ini. 

Bila berbicara soal doa, kita semua lebih cenderung untuk mendoakan mereka secara khusus... dan doa yang paling popular adalah doa supaya panjang umur dan murah rezeki.

Terdetik dihati saya tentang satu perkara. Redha Allah terletak pada redha ibu bapa. Sama seperti nasyid yang selalu saya dengar masa zaman kanak-kanak sehinggalah sekarang. Saya tidak pasti samada sekarang, lagu ni masih ke udara atau tidak.. Tapi bagi saya, ianya punya nilai sentimen tersendiri selain selalu mengingatkan tentang tanggungjawab kita sebagai anak..

Hijjaz- Ridha al Walidaini

Selama-lamanya redha Allah bergantung kepada redha ibu bapa. Kenyataan ini tak akan berubah walaupun sekarang merupakan zaman dimana dunia dihujung jari. Kan...?

So, bila aje saya dengar tentang doa tu, terdetik untuk tukar doa2 yang bagi saya sangat cliche dengan doa berikut:

"Semoga awak jadi anak yang soleh/solehah untuk ibu dan ayah awak"

Sebab apa...?

Sebab bagi saya, doa ni dah meliputi semua.. Jawapannya ada dalam nasyid tu. Redha Allah bergantung pada redha ibubapa (selagimana arahan/perbuatan yang tidak bertentangan dengan syara'). 

Mak ayah mana yang tak nak anak mereka bahagia sehingga syurga... Kan...?

Bagi saya, apa sahaja perbuatan atau perlakuan saya, akan saya inform mak dan ayah saya. Sebab saya pegang sangat-sangat dengan benda ni. Dalam usaha untuk dapatkan mardhotillah, redha mak ayah haruslah kita dapat.. kan..?

Semasa tercetusnya situasi ni, saya tertanya-tanya kenapa itu yang dia ucapkan. Jawapan secara tak langsung tercetus dari bibir si-pendoa..

"Mak dan ayah kita nak yang terbaik untuk anak masing-masing. Mereka selalu mendoakan supaya kita menjadi anak yang soleh supaya, insyallah, kalau disyurga kelak, akan berkumpul sama-sama dengan anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah. Sama juga dengan kita yang bersahabat ni. Kita selalu mahu yang terbaik buat sahabat-sahabat dan orang sekeliling kita. Sebab niat asal kita adalah berukhwahfillh, lillahi taala. Mahu bahagia ke syurga bersama-sama. Dan untuk capai semua tu, adalah bergantung pada redha Allah yang dengan mudah disini, kita nilai dengan redha mak ayah. Kalau mak ayah kita redha untuk kita berada dan bersahabat dengan orang yang baik-baik, insyallah Allah pun redha dengan situasi ini."

Ditambah lagi dengan ayat-ayat penyata yang sangat best untuk saya renungi.

"Tapi dalam sesetangah situasi, kita sebagai anak haruslah untuk mencapai mardhotillah dengan cara yang sebaliknya. Mungkin, ada yang mak ayah diorang tak paham tentang perkara sebegini demi untuk mengejar dunia. Tapi niat asal mereka adalah untuk kebahagiaan anak-anak. Jadi, tak salah untuk kita tegur dan praktik hikmah Rasulullah dalam menegur mereka yang lebih dewasa dengan tujuan mardhotillah. Dah kita tahu benda tu salah, benda tu betul, boleh jea kita cakap cara yang baik-baik untuk tegur mak ayah kita sendiri. Kita yang anak ni lebih kenal mak dan ayah sendiri berbanding orang luar. Bagaimana cara penerimaan untuk setiap teguran."

Dan panjang lagi... 

Ni antara points yang saya dapat tika itu. Dan bila difikir-fikir balik, betul juga. Semua nak capai mardhotillah dan pengakhiran yang baik....

Wallahua'lam...

*p/s: Saya doakan anda semua dan saya sendiri semoga jadi anak yang soleh dan solehah untuk mak dan ayah tercinta... Amin...!

**p/s/s: Sorry to my parents. Could not make it this week. Hope for a bright light for next week. May Allah bless you two till jannah..

Mr Pilot...?

Bismillah... Long time no see and writing all these mumbling session that one ever known 'bout it... Hope that we all still in the  blessed path... Insyallah...

Seriously... I miss the moment to 'all out' everything I can.. But yes, experience teaches more than we can imagine..

Tambah dengan banjir (yes, me, one of the luckiest person tested with the musibah), conference, etc etc... Busy enough to spare some of my time, ey...? *exaggerating much. ahaks...!

Few weeks back, on school holidays, the invitation of the marriage celebrations were on the air. And yes the celebrations were insyallah in barakah.

Back there, meeting the old friends of mine make me realize that we all are getting old, and not getting young, to enjoy the moment just like a child got candy during the celebration. They were matured enough compared to me. Well, at some point we can see the differ between the maturity and childish. And the moment just keep hunting me.

The story to highlight here was the moment when one of them bump me with a quest.

"Where is your pilot?"

And me just like " Huh..? Pilot..? Not even know one." with a very blurred expressions. She laugh as much as she can seeing my reaction. And she recalled the pilot-moments which was happened eleven years back.

"You say you wanna marry a pilot someday. So mana dia? I still remember your promise." she did say that. and I turn to be jatuh-rahang since she is magically, still remembered the childish promise.

Well, yes.. It's more to the books influence fault which the hero of the story was a pilot and pretty much patience to the heroin. Back then, we're loved to read novels especially when the hero's character do have some like 'whoa' personality. (*actually the job he was in the story, like, pilot engineer, doc etc..)..

So, here we come again... Watch the malay drama which is Rindu Awak 200%  just now. On the first eps, I laugh at the main actor that play as pilot. And the moment he said that he did not have enough money to get married make me laugh evilly. His sister do replied:

"Kerja jadi pilot pun xde duit" sort of *I dont remember the actual line*.

Yes. the scene do bring me to the moment when my friend do ask me the same point. And again I laughed.

To be honest, I dont even remember the moment, and it become worst when the-me now were difference with the-me back then. The worst is, when the quest was pop-out in front of everbody.

"Oh, I'm dead".. That's my inner-self replied...

When talking about jodoh, that's not me to run away from the topic, but it just really make the atmosphere feel really awkward in me. Really hate it when the moment come. But myself was not tolerated with my inner-self. The topics just make the flow of our conversation. 

For me, following the flow is my style. I dont even care what people say. But in certain thing, we can't force the nature to obey our wishes.

And last night, which was the girls-hangout-night. We do some chit-chat also about this topics.

One of them were sharing a way to at least, make an easier path on it.

practice it and believe in Allah
that's what she said.

That's all for now. Not know how to end it properly

*Sharing this, yang buat semua orang percaya yang I DO send this photo to someone for real. But they do not believed it was just a joke. Dan saya yang gelak sampai keluar air mata since everybody know how allergic I am at this topic and seriously. Everybody DO believed the joke and everyone of them keep asking me the same quest for few hours.

"Betul ke awak send? Dia reply apa?"

Can I ask the question randomly???

**Wishing for a 'pilot' that can fly our 'airbus' to jannah.. amin.. insyallah..

Isn't so Funny..?

Bismillahh....

Salam isnin.. May all of u be in Allah's bless always... Hope that all the success in jannah be your priority forever and ever.. Because the dunya succes will be follow after..Insyallah... Have faith in HIM.

Yes, this still being my platform utk merepek, merapu dan meraban yang ntah hape-hape. Cause I dont know how to spill it.

Yesterday was one of my big day, which mean, supposed to be happy for all people that go through the day.But I am who am I. The one that I was count on was really upset me and I end my day with a very red, big eyes and it was not a good things since, in a blink of eye muka merah habis. 

*ok x penah nangis yang sampai tahap nak bertukar jadik merah gitu. But it happened...! 

**still can't believed it.

Mungkin sebab halang air mata dari turun.*Moral of the story: Don't hold your tears. Let it down or u'll suffer with the red eyes and face.

Sedar pagi tadi, dengan alarm yang memang da diset sebegitu and I was thank with it. Sebab sedikit demi sedikit, marah dan sedih tu, hilang dan timbulkan rasa bersalah yang amat to that person. Yes. Very important person of me.

Yeah... Rasa sedih cum marah all night long tu berganti dengan rasa bersalah yang amat. I'm so selfish and not letting anyone ruined my plan. and I end up hurting myself more and more. The way I kept myself for me, alone, sebenarnya tidak mendatangkan apa-apa rasa beruntung pun. 

Sebab hidup ni sementara dan harus ada timbal balik. Give and take. Everything have the good and bad, untuk balanced everything.

Everything happen with a reason. Maybe, what had happen yesterday do give me something precious and also reflect on things that I shouldn't do. And it may do touched some heart in realizing some other heart that have had to be secure. I always pegang dengan janji Allah:

"HE will give you back what have you gave HIM. He tested you for you to know that you are under HIS observation."

Just believed in HIM and HE is the great planner for us.

entah merepek, merapu meraban apa ntah. but lastly, I just wanna say that I was faking everything yesterday. The smile, the happiness. And it hurts in someways when you do realize that, faking it was not a good thing. But until you realize, you actually need to have it done sincerely so that the world will welcome you with a warm smile.

"Fake It Until You Make It"

Thanks for everything..

Do feel free to drop comment, advice, critic or anything that can make up my day, so that, I also can learn how to improvise my daily learning sessions.

Don't hold back

Bismillahirrahman nirrahim...
another contengan yang entah hape-hape...
kecewa dengan sesuatu sampai tahap pujuk diri untuk dapatkan balik 'kekuatan' itu



Don't hold back... or else, you the one who would suffer.
Stop depending on others... or else, you the one who will be frustrated.
Stop trusting others as most as you want.. or else, you the one who will be betrayed.
Stop counts on others... or else you the one who will be counted.

Dear self, get back to yourself on your own.
Stop fooling around with others stuffs, so that you can mind you own business.
Just be with yourself, trust no one, live your life the most as you wish for love to come.
Don't count on loves that you have had received. if you do so, it hurts in so many ways.

Just believed in what HE have promises ever since forever. hold HIM tightly to you yourself. and DO spread the love.But don't hurt yourself as you know that HE do love you like HE did for HIS beloved.

the one that i kept playing when the circumstance are around.

tertarik dengan kata-kata syeikh dalam video ni, make me realize something that made me to move on and dont look back.

"When a believer gets hardship, he doesn't go crazy. He doesn't become depressed. He doesn't get nervous breakdown.

Why?

Because he remember Allah, he thanks Allah and he turns to Allah, and his heart is happy with Allah. So, Allah gives him satisfaction.

A true muslim can never ever be depressed. If a person is depressed, that means there is something seriously wrong with his iman. "

Betul... a true muslim supposed to never be depressed sebab sebenarnya itu menunjukkan kita ada rasa putus asa dengan Allah. Dan seriously, sebenarnya kita jarang sedar tentang kenyataan ini.
So, I DO try my best. Hardly. To follow his advice. Untuk tidak berputus asa dengan Allah..


this was just a piece of thought of me untuk pujuk diri sendiri. memang orang lain tak kan kisah pun pasal kita walaupun pada dasarnya they look really care. tapi end up, you do hurt yourself when trusting people just for them to have friends. and they dont even bother to care.

ya, betul. mungkin akan ada yang mengaggap pesimis terhadap friendship. but i have had enough of them. cukup dengan usaha untuk being better, tapi 'dipatahkan' sampaikan tahap berada di lubang yang paling dalam. gelap. sunyi. dan menakutkan. untuk kembali ke keadaan asal, untuk built the tryst again. i'm sorry to go through it. but its enough for me..

thanks for your time on this nonsense.