Arbitrary [02] Trust

Trust is a strong word.

It comes with the one, so called Honest.

Bila kau dah paku tembok yang keras tu, akan ada kesannya walaupun kau dah tanggalkan paku tu..

Dan tanpa sedar, di balik sana tembok, ia semakin menebal. Takkan pernah menipis. 

Dan serik dengan tujahan paku yang tajam itu.

* * *

"Sekarang saya dah tau kenapa awak tak favour sangat dengan dia." 

Telinganya masih setia mendengar lanjutan patah kata si sahabat.

"Once we believe, we will never assume people will back stab us, ey.." Balas si sahabat lagi.

"I bet difference. Sebab penilaian masing-masing adalah berbeza. Dan saya antara orang yang dah serik dengan keadaan itu." Balasan yang serasa tajam keluar dari mulutnya, semakin membangkit rasa serik dalam perhubungan.

Arbitrary [01] Random

Random.. random.. random.. and arbitrary..



She built a wall.
A high concrete wall, in her own way..
To make sure no one come and hurt her.
As a way of defense.

And it is way too arbitrary.
Suits her.

Westlife - Beautiful In White

Assalamualaikum and hi... semoga kekal dalam Rahmat yang Esa.. aminnn

just wanna have some tiny little teeny things that drugs me in a way... ahha...

Oh my, my… I’ve fallen in love with this song eventhough the time is killing me right now. I need to prepare and ready for the upcoming symposium of innovation and creativity, yet this song was playing thru and thru and I am not ready to be bored yet.. I love it and coupled it with another sweet songs. Nothing to blame, I’m a girl, ey. No sweat to be sweet and no harm do.. let slip this thru.

Not sure if you know this
But when we first met
I got so nervous I couldn't speak
In that very moment
I found the one and
My life had found its missing piece

So as long as I live I love you
Will have and hold you
You look so beautiful in white
And from now til my very last breath
This day I'll cherish
You look so beautiful in white
Tonight

What we have is timeless
My love is endless
And with this ring I
Say to the world
You're my every reason
You're all that I believe in
With all my heart I mean every word

So as long as I live I love you
Will have and hold you
You look so beautiful in white
And from now til my very last breath
This day I'll cherish
You look so beautiful in white
Tonight

Oooh oh
You look so beautiful in white

So beautiful in white
Tonight

And if a daughter is what our future holds
I hope she has your eyes
Finds love like you and I did
Yeah, and when she falls in love, we'll let her go
I'll walk her down the aisle
She'll look so beautiful in white

You look so beautiful in white

So as long as I live I love you
Will have and hold you
You look so beautiful in white
And from now til my very last breath
This day I'll cherish
You look so beautiful in white
Tonight

You look so beautiful in white
Tonight

here the video clip with lyrics...

*i found it sweet somehow

and here, I wanna share some sort of 'quotes' unquotes that I'll love to take note for me and share to whoever share the same way I did when I read it thru the storyline in my reading list.

who could walk away from their loved one? How does one have such strength to walk away? to never glanced back and check if they're alright?

I believed that, none of us can do that, without take a look, eventhough sekeras mana hati kau..! kalau rasa hati tu, cukup keras untuk taknak take a look at your loved one, sila mohon hati baru.. tak pun, mohon doa biar ada 'setitis' rasa yang boleh melembutkan dan memberi rasa yang sebenar rasa..

Tears aren't a shameful thing, they don't define your weakness, but your strength. Your tears portray how strong you were to face your feelings and let those tears wet your face, to let them reveals your feelings without caring who sees them.

yap... Tears portray how strong you were... tapi tolong jangan jadikan tangisan itu terlalu murah. Make it among the most valuable thing. Yang kalau engkau menangis, biar rasa berbaloi dengan tangisan itu. As for me, the harder you hold your tears for simple thing, the more strong you build your emotions.  Dan saat those tears fall down, you'll feel complete. Haa, gituuhhh...

Trust is a scary word. Mostly because it's one of the most fragile and insincere things out there. It's funny how some people can trust so easily.

Me. One of those yang easily trust people. It is not good. You cant easily trust stranger. I am reminded myself, but yet, hard to hold to the saying

Her Boss - LostInReading921  (thru wattpad apps)

I think, I'm done with all those mumbling, blabbering thru this rant media.. ahaks...! it's been a while since I am into this writing mode...

Stay in touch, dearie dears...

Love from Allah to Allah...

berkat..

Assalamualaikum and hi…

Just wanna say..

Jangan sesekali main dengan keberkatan…

Dan kalau engkau rasa yang - you are one of the person that can grant 'that one' for another,

Kalau awal-awal lagi tak nak bagi berkat, tak nak halalkan, baik jangan benarkan awal-awal.

Hidup ni bukan hanya ada aku dan kau.. tapi melibatkan kita semua.

I wanna quit, but one person says that

“it just only few other days left.”

Seriously, tawar hati…

Just be sure that don’t ever play with the one so-called blessing.

Once you messed, you destroy the soul..

No one ever know how the destruction will be..

But its already doomed.

Musim raya yangtak rasa raya…

Raya yang tak normal macam orang lain-seriously I am jealous about that…

Jadi bodoh salah, jadi pandai pun salah…

 Rajin-salah, malas pun salah…

On sailing – salah, tak pergi pun salah…

So, what will the feeling response to these…?

Spell of Love

Assalamualaikum and hi...

Semoga sentiasa  dalam rahmat Allah Azzawajalla hendaknya... Amin..

The title comes out from the Wrecking Ball lyrics since I am listening to it at the first hit on this entry.

Allahu.

Truly true, we hardly can spell the love in right term. Eventhough the situation sounds enough to face it. But we will never spell it right… this is me…

In this current circumstance, love is being such a word with beauty and pain as well..

In the meantime, I do wonder myself, if I really deserve enough to have it.

Most of the time, I sucked myself in giving and return this one full feeling…

The self-control as well as my self-destruction were aware of what have been in me.

And to say it worst, for time being, I am really not myself in expressing any feeling. The stresses are everywhere. The seeking for stress reliever was failed, and I myself destroyed myself thru every single kicking seconds.

Yes, it’s killing for what have I feel.

And not knowing how to move on. It just stuck on the earth.

I know this some sort of blabbering…. But I’ve had enough with people. Never knew that I’ll start to feel boring towards people…

Maybe my current situation; which means I am not good in relationship.

Habluminallah, habluminannas, habluminal ‘alami.

Allahu..this way of feeling make me sick..  on how to control myself, on how to react to other..

Yes, we ourselves have our own fight.. our own circumstances.

And along with it, comes the surrounding to test and also to keep us on track…

You need to open up a bit for the light…

Allahu..

Allahu… bantu aku ya Allah…

just a random on me, in these stressful situation and relation..

On This Dot..

Assalamualaikum and hi...

Moga sentiasa dalam lindungan RahmatNya..  Amin...

Allahu....

Penat mengejar waktu
Lelah terduduk menanti hari
Biar berdarah luka dihati
Andai diri masih teguh dalam pimpinanMu

Penat menjalar tiada tara
Ku hitung bilah luka di dada
Andai ku kira batas waktu
Masih bersisa dihujung buku

Siang berganti malam menari
Irama indah penuh syahdu
Duhai diri duhai hati
Teguh berdiri menanti waktu

Usah hiba menjawab luka
Andai dunia penuh rasa
Ku kira rasa ku kira bahagia
Bila hati penuh bunga

Bunga bukan sebarang bunga
Bunga liar tumbuh ditaman
Rasa bukan sebarang rasa
Bila rasa bercampur rawan..

t͆h͆e͆ t͆r͆u͆t͆h͆ i͆s͆ ..
S͆a͆y͆a͆ p͆e͆n͆a͆t͆ d͆e͆n͆g͆a͆n͆ t͆e͆r͆m͆ s͆a͆i͆n͆t͆i͆f͆i͆k͆ d͆a͆n͆ m͆u͆n͆g͆k͆i͆n͆ t͆e͆r͆l͆a͆m͆p͆a͆u͆ p͆e͆n͆a͆t͆ d͆e͆n͆g͆a͆n͆ d͆a͆t͆e͆l͆i͆n͆e͆s͆. D͆i͆t͆a͆m͆b͆a͆h͆ d͆e͆n͆g͆a͆n͆ i͆d͆e͆a͆ m͆e͆nu͆l͆i͆s͆ y͆a͆n͆g͆ d͆a͆t͆a͆n͆g͆n͆y͆a͆ u͆m͆p͆a͆m͆a͆ s͆i͆p͆u͆t͆ m͆a͆b͆u͆k͆ l͆a͆u͆t͆... Y͆a͆n͆g͆ h͆a͆n͆y͆a͆ d͆a͆t͆a͆n͆g͆ s͆e͆k͆e͆r͆a͆t͆ d͆e m͆i͆ s͆e͆k͆e͆r͆a͆t͆..

a⃠l⃠l⃠a⃠h⃠u⃠....
B⃠a⃠n⃠t⃠u⃠ l⃠a⃠h⃠ d⃠e⃠n⃠g⃠a⃠n⃠ i⃠l⃠m⃠u⃠ p⃠e⃠n⃠g⃠e⃠t⃠a⃠h⃠u⃠a⃠n⃠M⃠u⃠.. P⃠i⃠n⃠j⃠a⃠m⃠k⃠a⃠n⃠ d⃠a⃠k⃠u⃠ k⃠e⃠b⃠i⃠j⃠a⃠k⃠s⃠a⃠n⃠a⃠a⃠n⃠M⃠u⃠. A⃠n⃠u⃠g⃠e⃠r⃠a⃠h⃠k⃠a⃠n⃠l⃠a⃠h⃠ d⃠a⃠k⃠u⃠ k⃠e⃠l⃠a⃠p⃠a⃠n⃠g⃠a⃠n⃠ w⃠a⃠k⃠t⃠u⃠ d⃠a⃠n⃠ k⃠e⃠t⃠e⃠n⃠a⃠n⃠g⃠a⃠n⃠ h⃠a⃠t⃠i⃠ s⃠e⃠t⃠e⃠r⃠u⃠s⃠n⃠y⃠a⃠, m⃠u⃠d⃠a⃠h⃠k⃠a⃠n⃠ l⃠a⃠h⃠ u⃠r⃠u⃠s⃠a⃠n⃠ k⃠u⃠ j⃠u⃠a⃠...
J⃠a⃠d⃠i⃠k⃠a⃠n⃠l⃠a⃠h⃠ j⃠a⃠l⃠a⃠n⃠ k⃠u⃠ i⃠n⃠i⃠, j⃠a⃠l⃠a⃠n⃠ y⃠a⃠n⃠g⃠ m⃠a⃠m⃠p⃠u⃠ m⃠e⃠m⃠b⃠a⃠n⃠t⃠u⃠ a⃠g⃠a⃠m⃠a⃠M⃠u⃠, Y⃠a⃠ A⃠l⃠l⃠a⃠h⃠....
a̾m̾i̾n̾n̾n̾..

Post-date

Assalamualaikum and hi...

Semoga, hari ini memberi sinar baru untuk kita-saya, awak dan semua.
Semoga juga hidup kita sentiasa dalam rahmat Allah Azawajalla... Amin..

**try to play Kehidupan by In-Team... Sebab entry kali ni, ditemani lagu ni semasa typing process.. Followed by Setelah Aku Dipaling by Rast...
**dalam usaha memperkasakan nasyid dodulu...wink (^_−)☆..

Post date after one ofy besties wedding ceremony..

This is the story... Since she is one of my besties, i hope to attend the akad ceremony.. Walaupun tak kenal sapa pun kat majlis tu, selain drpd the bride herself... Teruk kan.. 

Tapi turn out, we were late for the ceremony and just before rombongan 'belarok' (rombongan pengantin) sampai... Sebenarnya nak cerita yang sebelum tu..

Tapi dah lupa... Tapi kira hot topic utk orang-orang baya saya yang masih bujang trang tang tang ni... 

Pointnya, jodoh itu hak Allah... Dan kalau kita persoalkan nya, umpama kita mempertikaikan taqdir yang Allah dah tentukan untuk kita. Danbukan mudah untuk menjawab isu ini bila yang bertanyakan itu,, dah masuk kategori elders..

Dan mungkin agak kasar bila soalan y ditanya itu,, kita menjawab dengan jawapan yang boleh dikatakan agak 'pandai'. Maaf ye..

Dan jawapan saya  masih sama. Dari dulu hingga kini. 

Urusan jodoh, urusan Allah. Memang kita kena cari, tapi Allah dah tetapkan yang terbaik untuk membentuk flow hidup kita. Dan sebetulnya, susah untuk kami yang bersikap macam saya ni, untuk pandang jantina berbeza. Apatah lagi untuk memulakan langkah. Sebab kami dibesarkan dengan adab dan sifat yang menjaga batas. Saya tak kisah, mungkin ada yang berkata masih hidup di zaman kuno, yang tidak meluaskan pandangan dan tidak cuba untuk keluar dari kepompong... Tapi, sekali lagi saya tekankan,, kami diajar untuk menjaga pandangan.. Dn saya, sebetulnya takut dengan pandangan diri sendiri sebab dikaburi dengan semua kacamata dan perspektif yang pelbagai. Dan bukan mudah untuk menapis setiap pandangan itu. Percayalah..

Dan jawapan saya juga;

Jodoh saya, GPS dia rosak... Kalu baik sekalipun, dia masih sibuk dengan 'jalan lain' sebab tu sampai sekarang tak jumpa saya. Dan saya pun ada GPS juga... Mungkin belum sampai masanya lagi untuk GPS saya meluruskan jalan kearah itu. Dab semuanya,, saya serahkan pada Yang Maha Kuasa untuk tetapkan  jalan kami...

*met my twin from school back then.

Sebetulnya saya rindu semua sahabat, kawan, teman, dan yang pernah ajar saya erti kehidupan dalam kacamata berbeza.  

Dan sungguh, jumpa this person will always remind me of the school session. The happiness. The joyful moments, the sad and sorrow we go thru together. Hand in hand.

Stand as one and hold tight till end. Dan hujungnya, kita berpisah.

Allahu.

Moga kalian semua teguh di jalanNya pada tika ini. Saat yang sukat itu, insyallah, Dia balas dengan manis di penghujungnya...

Ya Allah, Kau jagalah kami supaya tetap dijalanMu...

Amin.